Welcome to your thirties..
I just glanced out my kitchen window. I saw my really hot neighbor walking up the drive, pushing a wheelbarrow. The late afternoon sun made me squint, and it saturated her whole blessed scene. Her with her white t-shirt and jeans. Her with her hips and her red hair, and her perfect cute face. A nurse, working the land. The poignant thing is, the yard work doesn’t really need to get done. The yard is gorgeous just as it is. She does not have to do anything. No one is paying her a penny to work out in the yard, she just chooses to do it. She wants to. This is how my really hot neighbor is spending her afternoon, being outside in the yard, weeding, smelling the amazing blossoms, and dirt, and the fresh cut grass, bathing in the perfectly cool-warm air, listing to my other really hot neighbor talk, watching the children bike and play their way home from Lincoln, and just pushing the wheelbarrow, pushing it in between the flowers and in between the tall grasses, pushing it up the sun bleached driveway, pushing it in her white t-shirt, and in her jeans, and maybe sweating a little bit, on this perfect May Tuesday afternoon.
I was looking at a picture of my dad gardening this morning. I was so struck by the level of grace and pleasure illustrated in his limbs and posture. Such a thorough yoga, just swimming in enjoyment. My dad liked gardening. That is what is so fascinating about gardens to me, people garden in them because they actually want to. They do an activity that they actually choose. And you can see it, you can drive down the street and you can see people in gardens, gardening, on purpose.
Of course it’s not entirely uncommon to come up to someone in their garden and have them immediately call out a defense like, ‘if I don’t get these weeds out of here, they will just take over’ or, ‘I have to get these planted, or else they will never get planted.’ It can sometimes be a vulnerable place, showing yourself to someone when you’re doing something that you really like, something that’s just for you.
The act of a person doing something that they really like, that they really are into, and that maybe takes a little effort, and that is really just for them, and isn’t to please anyone else, this is my single biggest turn-on.
I like jogging around Capitol Lake. And when I see people walking there it makes me so happy, because I know that they are mostly just walking there because they want to. It is not for their job, or for school, it is not to impress people, it will not get them much farther in the world.. Often people are just walking alone. And not even quickly for exercise. Can you imagine that? Direct living proof of people knowing their bitter-sweet mortality, cherishing it, cherishing their lives as they live them, knowing that living their lives is only a small part, and that they are just one person, who lives, and who will die.
It is just you on the land, with wind, the sea, the moon, the bushes, and the dogs. You, and your feelings. People don’t think you’re cool. People don’t think you’re smart. People don’t give you any money. There are no prizes anywhere for taking a walk by yourself. People mostly don’t even see you. It is just your life. And it is short. And it is all for you. You love yourself. You love your life. You love everything. At that is it.
